Journal pages – gouache, pen and ink, collage. I began this jounal page in the winter, and outside it still looks like winter – some snow fell last night and left a dusting on the ground. I can’t think of anything else to add to the background of this page, or any layers to add so I’ve left it. Maybe I will think of something another day, but today it seems finished.
A quiet Sunday afternoon – I can see my Disintegration Manifestation bundle from my studio window. “Stick Boy” came around a couple of days ago banging his sticks. (A young boy from the neighborhood who was up and down the street last year hitting new growth and budding trees with sticks.) I watched him for awhile, wondering what I would feel if he hit my bundle with his sticks … I couldn’t decide, so I just watched him. Apparently he hasn’t noticed it yet, but I would think it would be a good target with it’s vulnerable dangling legs. I think I will be sad if I come home one day and find it smashed, but I guess I would have to take that as part of the Disintegration process…
What it says in the tree limbs, which doesn’t show in the photo is:
“My two eyes
As similar marbles
Saw two things in you
And merged them
Knocking one —
Against the other
Where none existed”
Number four in the mini mini-series. The Sorcerer. 4×6 inches, acrylic on canvas. He seems to be waiting for something, his companions are waiting too, perhaps for the Sorcerer’s reaction. His face sad, and yet resigned, naive and knowing — his companion in the lower right looking like a character from Star Wars – a young friend tells me. I have never seen the Star War’s films, but I know which one he is speaking of – this little guy was simply a paint spot that turned itself into a creature – I had very little to do with his design and so I didn’t attempt to change him into something else. Nonetheless, they are all waiting for something…. that much is obvious.
The next in my mini mini-series. 4×6 inches. Acrylic on canvas.
This is nice having time to paint – if I weren’t so worried about what happens next money-wise, it would be heavenly!
There is snow in the yard, and its fiercely windy, but the computer says it’s 50 degrees – doesn’t feel like it. Does anyone know how to increase the font when adding a new post? I don’t find an option for it. Maybe I have to type it in word and cut and paste?
The photography needs to be improved – I’m working on that too!
I am slowly coming back to creative life – taking small steps, and trying not to worry about the future too much. These little canvases are just the right size for now, 4×4 and 4×6 inches each. Both taken from journal sketches that I never had the time to turn into paintings. Have some other sketches that may be apprpriate for a mini mini-series. It would be nice to stay home and not work, and have time to create all day – my mind is not in that mode yet, but I am pushing myself to let go and just be – in the moment, in the beginning of spring, in the first steps of a new path…Let it Be, as Paul McCartney sang, way back when I was a girl and full of hope, and belief that things would always, or almost always, turn out as they should – and now that is the thing to remember – things always do turn out just as they were meant to, and it’s what we make of it that determines who we are.
Five months………ain’t nuthin’ else to say!
March moves in bringing hope that spring is coming soon. I set my eyes on the horizon line and hope summer finds me away from here and on a new path. I believe people come and go in our lives as we need them, sometimes because we have something to learn from them, other times because they have something to learn from us. This last three years I feel it has been I doing the teaching, or bringing the life lessons and I am tired from this. I want to fly free – I want to just be – I want sunrise and sunset, day after day until I grow bored with this rhythm. I want to sit in the soft air of my favorite place on this earth and just be, and if I cannot sit in that soft air, then another spot will turn out to be just as sweet and I am open to this. I once knew someone who told me that I was never satisfied with anything, and now I see the truth in that. I am not satisfied with half-truths, nor am I satisfied with less than I deserve. If I sound selfish, … I am, …and I want that too.